Nothing Blew Up!

Well, it’s been a few weeks since I posted here. I was on medical leave from major surgery when I started this blog, so had a little more time to dedicate to it. I have since returned to work full-time,  putting in 1-2 hours a day practicing the organ, and other life responsibilities, this blog was put on the back burner until I had a few spare minutes to type up an update. :)

In a nutshell: I am progressing very well. It is definitely slow-going, but I do not expect anything more. Learning a new musical instrument is difficult at best, and it is unreasonable to expect to play like a pro overnight. 

Since I last wrote, my bishop, or pastor, has agreed to ease me into playing the organ for services. That really, really helped me feel less overwhelmed, because it meant I could take a little more time to learn the hymns I needed to play. See, in my faith, which is LDS (Mormon) we typically sing three to four hymns every Sunday service. That would mean I would need to learn four hymns a week, or 16 hymns a month. That is a bit much, so we agreed that I would play prelude and postlude the first Sunday, then the next Sunday, add to that list, the  opening hymn. I will continue that until the end of February, then will add in another hymn for March, and then by April, I will be playing the full service. Yikes!

But, I am happy to report, I survived my first service, but barely! I was well-prepared, and had all of my hymns properly registered for prelude and postlude, thanks to the help of my wonderful organ teacher, Jennifer. This meant that I had different sounds programmed into the church organ for each verse. For instance, the text of the verse would guide what sound I wanted to choose to come out of the organ, and I would select the stops for that sound accordingly, then program that into the organ’s pistons (or buttons.) . So, I would have a nice flute-sounding solo on one verse, then the next verse would add oboes or horns to that, etc. My job would be to select that piston (or button)  that I had programmed into the organ for each verse I played, so that each verse would be highlighted by the sound coming from the organ. It creates a very beautiful effect from verse to verse, and is something that cannot be done on the piano. You basically play all verses of the hymn the same on the piano, and could possibly articulate the strike of the keys differently to change it up, but that’s really all you can do.

I do have to say I love that the organ is somewhat more “customizable” if you will, with the different colors of sounds one can produce when playing.  Having the ability to make certain, joyful versus stick out, versus some of perhaps the more somber ones through proper registration of sounds, really is something I am having fun, and enjoying, experimenting with.

So, how did my first service go, playing prelude and postlude? Here is what I posted on my Facebook wall the day of the service:

“I shook like a leaf, and my legs were so shaky, I could barely push on the organ pedals. But, it was good, and I did well for a beginning organist. Stage fright sucks, though!”

Yep. That’s exactly how it went. The first hymn, my fingers and legs were shaking uncontrollably. I have no idea why! I knew I was well-prepared, and I had put countless hours in for this day to arrive. By the second hymn, I realized, “Hey, you survived without anything blowing up.” The shaking stopped a little bit after realizing that,  not by  much. But, I was able to relax, and enjoy the experience a little bit more. It is definitely more “fun” to play on the church organ,  because it produces more fancy and neat sounds over a very large speaker, versus my home organ, that is more limited in its stops (sounds.)

Here is to hoping nothing blows up next week, as I play prelude, postlude, and add in the opening hymn to my playing repertoire! 

Do Not Ever Give Up!

 Ok, folks. This is a long one, so grab your favorite beverage of choice, and be prepared to stay a while. There are so many thoughts running through my head after today’s series of practice sessions. So, without further ado, here it goes.

Here’s a little exercise, or imagination game for my readers. Try writing with your non-dominant hand, and see how hard it is for your brain to translate a simple function as trying to form letters and words. You’ve known those letters and words for the majority of your life, so you should be able to write them, and write them nicely, right? Why is it so hard? Is it frustrating that your once neat and legible writing is now messy and nearly illegible? It’s incredibly frustrating to you because something you have taken for granted for most of your life is now difficult and slow. Should you cave and think it’s good enough to switch back to your dominant hand, and nobody will be the wiser?

That is my temptation right now.

To this pianist who is used to a sustain pedal to cover up years of bad fingering habits, there isn’t any room for mistakes in fingering. Not only that, but there is a whole set of new musical symbols that apply in organ music, as well as learning how to play the bass line, or foot pedals. There is so much more that my brain has never had to deal with, or has had to relearn a totally different way. My entire brain is being re-wired in order to play with proper fingering and technique applicable to the organ. What was once a simple hymn for me on the piano, is now a frustrating, overwhelmingly difficult piece. Granted, I am playing simplified pieces of well-known favorites, but my organ teacher was correct when she warned me this would be a blow to the ego. And, it really has been.

The official word is, I now have one month to get myself passable enough to play in front of the congregation. Sure, I have the power and right to be able to say that I am not ready and need more time. Nobody is forcing me to do anything here.  But, I will not do that. I have signed up for, and accepted a “race.” Giving up and asking for more time is not acceptable for me now.  In some ways, I am grateful this happened now, rather than a couple of years ago. Why, do you ask? Let me explain.

See, my entire life, I have tried to be a runner. I would start a running program, and the first month or more of training would be absolutely miserable. There were many times over the years that I bagged it, and completely gave up. But, after countless attempts at running over the years, I finally told myself last year that this time, I would not give up. Nothing short of losing body limbs or life would stop me! Nothing! If trying to become a runner would send me to my grave, so be it. I wanted it that badly!

 I gave myself three months, and signed up for a 5K that would take place after three weeks of a nine week training period.  Signing up for a race would help keep me motivated to stick with my running program, even on the most frustratingly miserable training sessions. If I was not ready to increase my distance the next week, I would repeat a week until I felt ready to progress to the next week. This continued on week after week, after week, until the week finally came (two weeks before race day, because I had to repeat a difficult week) where I could easily run 5K. Oh, the elation I felt that all of my hard work had paid off was indescribable.  It was one of the single, most exhilarating experiences of my entire life!

                                
                                   Here I am after crossing the finish line for my first 5K!



 The impossible had happened, all because I finally believed in myself, and employed a huge bit of determination and dedication. I think what had failed me in my running attempts before, was not believing in myself, and having a bit of low-self esteem. Dropping out of college, and other life failures over the years, trained me to not believe in myself. Negative reinforcement and bad thoughts are absolutely crippling for any task we attempt in life. That destructive way of thinking is what has prevented me from achieving many life dreams. I decided last year, I was sick of living this way, and that is why I signed up for my first race.

I see much of the same pattern repeating itself as I attempt to learn a new musical instrument. As mentioned in previous posts, my dream has always been to play the organ. And, I am grateful to my running program, which taught me that a ton of hard work and determination will win the game. Yes, there were hard and incredibly difficult days. I wanted to quit my running program many, many times. There were days where I cried and wondered what the hell I had gotten myself in to.  The key was to push past them, and not give up. Simplifying things, if necessary, was in order to advance to the next level. Was I perfect on race day? No. Was I slow? Yes. Did I run the 5K as I had trained so hard to do? Yes! What matters most is, that we accomplish what we set our minds to do.

My goal for my “race day” (i.e. when I play for the congregation for the first time) is to not be perfect. All I can do is the best I can, and try my very hardest to remember all I have worked so hard to do. I am sure nerves will kick in, and my performance will be less than stellar. Like my running program, I know there will be incredibly tough days. I am sure there will be many tears as well.  However, my goal, as in my first 5K race, will be to finish what I started. Lengthening my stride and improving my race time had to be perfected over the months, just as learning more difficult pieces on the organ will be.

In some ways, I am sad that it took me 38 years to believe in myself. I think of all the wasted opportunities that were turned down by me because of that self-destructive attitude.  But, I am grateful that it did eventually happen. Some people never learn to believe in themselves, and struggle their whole lives. It makes me sad because I was once one of them. If finally  believing in myself had not happened last year, then I can say without a doubt that my old patterns of giving up when the going got tough, would have kicked in here. Heck, I might not have had the self-confidence to attempt playing the organ at all, and probably would have pushed the dream back once again for fear of failure.

 In conjunction with my running program, I was also able to lose over 45lbs last year, and that also took a ton of hard work and dedication. Together with running and my weight loss, I have finally realized that we can do anything we put our minds to.

Hard work and determination is what wins the game, dear readers. Some of us learn that early in life, and others, like me, sadly learn it late in life. Please do not ever give up. If you’re like I once was and do not believe in yourself, you will never succeed. The power of the mind is incredibly powerful! It has the power to make or break you!  Make up your mind that you will not give up, no matter what. Take it slowly, and know it will get better over time. Please know that it will!  I can testify of that! Have faith in yourself, and know that even if faith does not come fully until you cross that finish line (like it did for me) you will have finally won the long, hard battle.

I am determined to finish this latest “race” I have set for myself. Will you finish your first, or next "race?"

Now, go get ‘em, and believe in yourself. Give yourself that precious and priceless gift.

Well, that did not take long!

Why the photo of a church organist? Well, let me tell you!

I am LDS (Mormon) and the unwritten rule is, if you play piano, you will most likely eventually be asked (or "called" as it is referred to in our religion) to play the organ. As mentioned in my last post, most people, including me at one point, naively assume since a person can play piano, they can play organ. I assumed I could play the organ passably well while trying to learn it. Wrong!  Yes, a pianist can possibly play the organ right away, and it might sound passable, at best,  to the untrained or uneducated ear. However, will that pianist be playing the organ the way it was intended to be played, in full organ (not piano) style? Definitely not! Further training by a professional organist is essential  to a pianist who wishes to play the organ correctly, competently, and  in which the way it was designed to be played.

 I understood all of this when I purchased my organ. Prior to my purchase, I was blessed to procure the services of a fantastic and incredibly talented organist and teacher, who lives not more than a quarter of a  mile away from me. She agreed to provide lessons, and we agreed to start out slowly, so I could learn this instrument from the ground up. This meant relearning and reviewing basic music theory, studying how it applied to the organ, as well as other organ basics that I needed to be trained on.  I had exactly two lessons before that slow and desirable learning pace came to a screeching halt.

 So, why the title of the post, "Well, that did not take long?" Read on.

 As mentioned earlier in this post about the unwritten rule of being a Mormon (LDS) pianist, I found myself being "called" or "asked" by my clergyman (or "bishop" as we refer to in my faith)  to play the organ. Again, I had only two formal lessons before this happened. I knew this day would eventually come, because of the aforementioned unwritten rule.  Never mind the fact that I happened to now have a large organ in the front room of my home. It’s not like I could hide something as monstrously huge as an organ under a blanket, and hope nobody would guess what it was whenever someone from church came over! Also, I have a big mouth, so the fact that I posted photos of my beautiful, new organ on Facebook, definitely sealed my future fate. I knew I was definitely setting myself up for a pretty much permanent position of church organist, and I accepted that.  I was living on borrowed time, and I knew it. My love of the organ, and near lifelong desire of learning the instrument, won out over any hesitations in a possible life sentence.  However, I had hoped for at least a year of formal lessons under my belt before the inevitable happened. And, as you guessed, it did happen.

It is not official yet, but I did accept the request to become the church organist. Am I nuts? Yes. Am I insane? Without a doubt. Will I prematurely speed the development of more grey hair? Most definitely.  But, the love of my faith, and the love I have for Jesus Christ, made it so I was willing to accept this incredible challenge. I have a great love for all kinds of music, and a huge love of church hymns from not only my faith, but from other faiths as well. After all, I have been playing them on the piano since I was a young child. That love was born early, and still continues strongly to this day.

For those of my faith who might be reading this, you might be finding yourself in the situation where you need to begin your calling immediately. Perhaps you do not have the luxury of taking formal lessons before you begin your service. If the only resource you have is the auto-play feature, or auto-presets on the chapel organ, God bless you! You’re amazing, and I commend your willingness to serve when you’re most likely terrified, and perhaps know nothing of what you’re doing. May God bless you for your valiant efforts!

 As for me, I insisted to my pastor (bishop) on at least another month or two of hardcore, intense lessons before I begin. (We currently have two ladies who play organ right now, so they can fill in until I can get passable. I am not leaving my church in a bind as I frantically try to passably play, thank goodness!  However, I do know they have also served life sentences, and probably wish for some kind of relief. Hence, where I am at now. ) There are two reasons why I told my pastor (bishop) that I need at least a minimum of a month before I begin.

 Reason one is because my whole goal when purchasing my organ was to learn all there is to learn about playing it, and learning how to play it well. I want to be able to play competently, and for pleasure someday.  I don’t want to skimp on my lessons and education.  I do  understand I will only be able to play simplified arrangements in the beginning, because of my insistence in learning the instrument correctly. My bishop (pastor) understands where I am coming from, and knows it will be a while before I can play like a competent organist.

 Two, music is a huge part of worship. There is nothing more beautiful than voices raised in song and praise, and the messages found in those hymns are truly inspiring. I want to be able to play those hymns so that people are not cringing at the mistakes the organist is making, but can instead  enjoy and partake of the beautiful spirit, message, and music found in the hymns. I ask that anyone in the congregation I belong to, who might be reading this,  please be patient with me. I am putting in countless hours of lessons and study to get up to snuff, and will hopefully see that day coming soon. In the meantime,  please do enjoy the missed sharps, flats, and other mistakes that will be sure to happen!

Stay tuned for more, as I chronicle this challenging and incredible task! There will be tons of adventures, and misadventures which you will definitely not want to miss. I already have a few I have experienced, and want to write about, but they will have to unfortunately wait for another day. I am all blogged out for the night. J

The Purpose of This Blog, And a Dream Come True! I Purchased My First Organ!

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my journey transitioning from piano to organ. I am not the best author (although I do try my best) and don't claim any great whit or humor. Nor am I an English major. But, I do hope this blog will help anyone out there who find themselves in my situation, with a tougher challenge on their hands than they had originally (or in my case, naively) anticipated. I also do hope to use this blog as a journal of sorts, so that I can look back in a year or two, and see how far I have come, and be inspired all over again!

 Just over two months ago, I purchased an Allen ADC-420-C Organ! (See photo above.) As an amateur pianist for over 30 years, becoming an organist has been a dream of mine for many decades. Like most pianists, and non-pianists, I had the naivety of believing transitioning from playing piano to organ would be pretty simple. After all, pianists can read music, and know where notes are on the keyboard, so it can't be a difficult transition, right? All I would have to do to learn the organ is  legato-style playing, and how to play the pedals with my feet. No problem, I thought!  Ah, the naivety of it all makes me shudder now.

 While it is true that pianists can read music and do know where the notes are on the organ (they are the same keys as the piano) that's exactly where the similarities between the two instruments end. There is much, much more to this wonderful instrument than most people realize or understand. Little did I know what I was getting in to when I naively assumed all of the above!

However, if there is anything I have been blessed (or cursed) with, it is stubbornness. I made the decision to buy this organ, I made the choice to commit to it, I made the decision to have it take up a huge amount of real estate in my front room, and I will rise to this incredible challenge head-on! I will conquer this! Hear me roar!

Please follow my journey as I chronicle my adventures (and misadventures!) There will be many, I can promise you that! I know there will be many good and rough days! My hope to anyone reading this would be to provide inspiration. Whether you find yourself a pianist struggling to learn organ, or are struggling with some other challenge in your life, my wish for this blog is to help inspire to never, ever give up. I am a religious person, and also believe in the incredible power of prayer. No matter what life throws at you, or how insurmountable of a challenge you might be facing, if you pray,  do the work, and put your heart and mind into it, you will succeed!